he has officially spend more money on me than any other boy. and its all gone to plan b. awesome.
he had two deer mounted on his dorm room wall with panties and bras hanging from the antlers... i cant believe i contributed to bambi's headgear...
I just remembered how awesome your handjobs were in 7th grade, you were a true champ, thank you
dude. you ripped the mardi gras beads off the girls neck and yelled she didnt deserve them..
answered a 6 am booty call this morning...you were still in the er so I thought what the hell
Me and your penis are best friends. You don't know it, but I whisper my secrets whenever I give you blowjobs. We even have a secret handshake. We can't be separated from each other. We just can't.
No more Raisinettes before sex. That's what happened. I just put it together
NEVER LET ME DO THIS AGAIN I FEEL LIKE I'M GONNA SHIT MYSELF TO DEATH ARGHHHHHGHHG IS THIS WHAT DYSENTERY FEELS LIKE
She gives the worst handjobs, it was like raw meat on a cheese grater
He left npr on the whole time when we were doing it. ironic that i lost it on the 100th anniversary of the titanic. thanks michelle norris.
So this whole chlamydia situation totally puts a damper on my back to school sex schedule, there's just no way of knowing who of them was the perpetrator... Time for new candidates
OH MY GOD IT'S LIKE SHOOTING FISH IN A BARREL, EXCEPT INSTEAD OF FISH THEY ARE FIGHTER PILOTS
Would jacking off with Benadryl cream be good or bad for the poison oak on my dick?
What was my myspace song when I went away to rehab?
What's a nice way of saying 'I wish I hadn't fucked you.'
Randomize
