I feel like our house is getting pulled over.
Mom is telling us about the time she drank her own breast milk. Help.
I think when she wakes up, she'll either kill me, or laugh. I hope she laughs.
he kept saying "mind over matter" as he fucked me
It's ok for me to have his baby but I can't be his friend on fb. Wth is wrong with this
For u too. Could be years before u have a finger in ur ass
All that fucking tequilla made my head feel like it's inside of a body builder's asshole. He's doing squats.
And don't worry, my exact words were "I can't believe a baby came outta that thing"
I hear sloppy seconds go great with fried rice
when he pulled his cock out I told him he'd brought a knife to a sword fight
Im about to get a baby alligator stoned, what are you doing with your life?
Any sexual interaction is meaningless without pizza during half time.
Can't. Way too high. Forgot how to operate doors. Stuck outside.Come get me.
But I put cranberries and apples in my wine so it's festive drinking not suicidal drinking
She kept telling me that it pissed her off that i expect people to make out with me...then she made out with me. Win?
Randomize
