My goal for the party is to get everyone in a diaper. Reasonable?
There is no way he is gay with that hair.
how was your day?
fuck the small talk. are you bringing the liquor tonight or am i?
It's my birthday, I plan on masturbating and boating, maybe even masturbate on the boat.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Haha o man how much you've grown. From beer bonging wine and wearing cargo shorts to well, beer bonging beer and wearing cargo shorts
that awkward moment when your booty call gets snowed in at your place.
Her boyfriend only talks to me because I know her period schedule
I feel like he's only with me because no one else would blow him.
Just asking. Could've given you a lap dance in a sombrero, drenched in corona and tequila.
God Bless cinco de mayo
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I finally got out of bed at 8:30pm and my little brother informed me that I had cereal stuck to my back. I'm going to smoke a cigarette and go back to sleep.
Yes ma'am.Im also looking at my collection of penis pictures in my email playing "who;s penis is that"?
I met a pornstar at his bachelor party and signed his shirt giving him wedding advice
Seriously, why do I have a mortar round?
Waking up drunk is great, waking up drunk and hanging with your mom is even better.
I Never thought my late 30s would end up with me getting eaten out on a desk in the managers office of a lululemon, but I guess being a franchise owner has its perks!
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