1. Mark my dj buddy and I spent $1000 on bottles last night
2. We were casually offered narcotics while walking down the street
3. I will still be awake when you start school tmw, cause there's no last call
So if any tells you miami is the same as the rest of america, there are just lying to you
well recently, every guy I have hooked up with has been economy sized
You know you're wathing too much reality TV when you start adding commentary to every day life.
dude, she masturbates with a ken doll.
I need your advice and before you say it, no, it cannot be solved by a blow job
You clearly don't understand the power you wield with your mouth.
i really should have bought real food rather than condoms, olives, coleslaw and beer...
a kid who worked there came up to me and let me know you were sitting in the bathroom sink. he said it was fine, so i just kept checking on you.
I think the threesome was inevitable when she walked out in nothing but his boxers followed by him completely naked.
God I miss you. I want to fuck your face... Then do all the girly cuddly shit too.
Somehow my drug dealer is stuck in my air-vent and now everything smells like patchouli, weed, deoderant and sweat.
I have to have sex on a bidet. I'm not sure what kind, but it's reason #4 for an Italian vacation!
You came down the stairs dressed as winnie the pooh and kicking cups off the table and out of people's hands
You were passed out by the toliet and when i said i had to pee you told me to piss in the sink. Never has a girl with alcohol poisoning been so rude.
Now we just need to figure out why your underwear was in your bra
I'm making a sandwich topless right now. Remind me again why I don't have a boyfriend?
Randomize
