'hiiiigh' is saved in my t9 for a reason
I'm chasing vodka with french fries.
I just need someone to hold me and tell me i dont turn boys gay
Nothing says true friendship like 2 people bonding over potentially having AIDS.
I made him hve sex with me in the elevator so that I could put my finger down in never have I ever.
He managed to get his pants on, so the cop just sat there facing us with his lights shining in the car. I made shadow puppets.
When u wake up, don't be alarmed by the passed out mariachi band, they're cool. Muchos gracias
could you please not use my mortar and pestal for its intended purpose? i just snorted cracked black pepper.
it is shots o' clock and I am never late
Anyways, he came over at 3:30 am and ate me out while I ate pizza on the counter
Wait..I'm drunk and butt naked making a pizza. Happy Wednesday.
I feel like I'm in high school again. I'm completely sober and I just gave some guy a handjob to completion.
I'm at her wedding and she managed to get every single one night stand I ever had in her wedding party. Why does she hate me?
Stop trying to mix nacho cheese and sex. Guys don’t want hot cheese near their junk. Pick a better fetish
I ripped ass in on and around her face during a hard 69. I don't think she'll ever call me again.
Randomize
