Every time we go downtown I ask myself why we live in Des Moines
There is something about drinking on a golf course and getting with younger women that just really makes me feel at home.
I got a 69.7 in accounting. I have this whole doing the bare minimum down to a science
had a convo with my professor before class while peeing... new level of awkward or a breakthrough in our relationship? i feel like there is no longer a professional boundary.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just got a booty call..Its 6 pm..a brave attempt to climb the rotation ladder..I like his ambition.
I'm unshowered, and since I've seen this episode of say yes to the dress, I've decided to go to the store and get a frozen pizza at 10:20 am. I'm crushing life.
The leasing office is hiring, so I gave them my resume and class schedule. I doubt they'll call me considering last summer at their "exotic animal" pool party I marched in with a funnel and demanded the employees chug. I doubt they've forgotten.
After it was shut down sean literally made out with four separate girls between the 100 feet to our house. It was a rampage.
Dude. That Grinch had his priorities right when he was worried that there might be a cash bar at that town celebration.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
That guy was cool until he tried fighting that dude in the bow tie. I need better wingmen.
I smell like bonfire and ex-boyfriends
I'm so hung over that I'm pretty sure I can feel the earth's rotations when I close my eyes.
I'll be honest, I too would punch the 21 year old version of myself in the face, and then have rough sex with him.
Stop it. You know what r&b does to my body
Today I learned that I have a bigger dick than Draymond Green
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