Well douche your snatch and let's go!
It's sad the highlight of the night was you didn't electrocute yourself again.
Quite frankly, I consider the fact that I'm NOT pregnant one of my greatest achievements and I'd like to chronicle that ongoing success. I'm going to post pictures of me at "0 weeks" once a week.
He texted back and said he would hook up if he didn't have a test at 8am. It's really hard to be annoyed by how good of a student he is.
Yeah that sucks. That's why I stick to deadbeat sports management majors.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just got assigned a beer bong as hw in fluids to demonstrate the inverse of pascals principle. I love this prof
Once you've seen a girl stick a snake in her snatch normal stuff seems like Barney and friends
Based on the grey fur I pulled from my teeth, I think her vagina has mice.
And tan into my neighbor in the elevator. She was going to the gym. I was covered in mascara and dog hair eating a hash brown
There are both cum and chocolate stains on my sheets. Can't decide whether this is a new low or a new high.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Jealous. I want an iud. Maybe there's a late night bodega that'll insert one for me
I thought the dude was just really enjoying his piss but apparently he was jerkin off into the urinal.
Plus you need some new dick in your life, the environment is fucked enough you don’t have to recycle anymore 😂💀
Aww well I’m kinda unsober so probably best
We kicked down a door together last night, pretty sure that qualifies us as best friends.
I think it’s appropriate to celebrate the start of mother’s day at the bar with the men that almost made me a mother
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