He could be your dad!
We discussed that right before he asked for my number
and this is why I hate my dad. He got 25x more angry with me when I wanted to drive a different route then he suggested to get to his house (more scenic- thus more enjoyable) then he did when I told him I was driving drunk with 4 people in the car and I got my 5th speeding ticket last night.
My #1 goal this summer is to get drunk at olive garden
I don't know if it was the room or her, but as soon as the pants came off, it smelt like a locker room and old man farts.
Drinking at work by myself... My boss just walked into me copying my face on the copy machine..
everytime someone would look at you, you started to try and deep throat your beer bottle.
Note to self: You can't deep fry cheese-its.
She is singing the swedish chef song and throwing utensils. I love this place
Drunkenly bought a $240 realtor course last night. Apparently even drunk me thinks my future is going nowhere
It looks like I murdered a care bear and put its blood in my hair to warn the others off.
I just need some of your time and all of your body.
Ok you had this coming you put a sponsored filter on a dick pic
I sprayed his whole room with my perfume and left lots of my hair on the bed. So now if he does bring her home, the bitch will know this territory is marked.
My conscious state is steadily increasing towards drunkenness.
FIVE TIMES AND I HAVENT GOTTEN OFF ONCE
literally yelled NOOOO right before he finished .. yelled “five times and I still haven’t gotten off” when he was still inside me ..
Said “don’t worry I’ll get myself off tomorrow” to top it all off
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