North Korea, Best Korea!
You were running around the house covered in syrup, with shredded down pillow feathers on your body screaming "AFLACK!" at everyone
i don't really know how much tequila is too much
Just woke up to find myself cooking eggs on the imaginary stove in my room.
Sorry, but you probably shouldn't come over. I'm too sober for this.
The less money I spend on drugs, the happier my mom will be.
I'd rather be castrated by angry chipmunks Than live your life for 24 hours
Listen I just pulled white girl hair out of my underwear. This has got to stop. I was wearing pants all night.
I may or may not have definitely said the words "how do I put this beer in my purse without looking like an alcoholic" last night.
AMERICA LOVES YOU. RIDE THAT DICK LIKE PAUL REVERE RODE HIS HORSE SO MANY YEARS AGO
All right, sex is off the menu for you. Now you just get friendship. So I can spend marginally less time being annoyed by you.
I wanna hang out. The cats don't talk back.
It's one of the few times I hit fuck it levels of not caring
He sent me off with a naked dance ending in a meat swing. I don't think I'll be seeing him again.
I'm glad you got documented proof of my stupidity with a head full of nitrous
Hahaha and I'm glad you are doing whip its at a childrens basketball game
Randomize
