wakey wakey hands off snakey
omg, I know. It's so embarrassing that we've both had his penis in parts of our bodies
Hey a mouth doesn't really count. A vagina counts more.
even in the morning, she still thinks my british accent is real.
really keith? you showed me your dick and your not gonna text me back
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
dude, showing up drunk to physics was the best idea ever. I just tripled my participation for the semester. I love st pattys day
I'm gonna wear that dress that makes me look like a slut. You know, the one your sister got arrested in.
Our brains have an emergency blowjob override switch. You saw proof tonight.
I called him daddy. To his face. Somewhat sober. What more could I do?
But I feel like studying my flashcards during a blowjob would be rude...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
just puked a little into my hand/sleeve. way too hungover for the first day of class
You are like a vicious sex animal persistently seeking prey
I'm bringing cupcakes to work today as an apology for my actions at the bar last night, my boss probably can't look at me the same ever again
I have got to stop taking so many uppers and downers simultaneously. My life is a Dali painting.
She rode my dick so hard I momentarily lost hearing. I guarantee I had the better St Patrick's.
I just googled "how to blow an uncircumcised guy" and did serious research. That's how badly I want to fuck him.
You misuse your internet privileges.
Randomize