My dream in life is to scissor with Ellen. I don't care if I've got a dick. I'll make it work.
Wow my backseat really seemed a lot bigger when we were 16
So... I'm really sorry I tried to sell you to random people in cars last night
I just read the lonely terrorist on nwa had 40 more friends than me on facebook
Pretty sure that I got the MVP of wedding reception... woke up on the bench in the hallway of a hotel and we did NOT start the night there.
just thought you should know it took me an hour and a half to make soup. I had to keep laying on my kitchen floor. being 21 is hard.
Based on the grey fur I pulled from my teeth, I think her vagina has mice.
Fuck you, if it wasn't for us going to the city, she would be using me as a human sex toy all day.
that's the second time I've left that bar and slept with the person that's driven my car. thank god I don't take cabs..
Found some boxer briefs on my patio table this morning surrounded by a case worth of empties. Starting to remember why I have rugburn and a sore asshole.
And then my night got REAL pukey
I can't have my last hookup before 21 have been behind a dumpster
It's official cum is not a great leave in conditioner
he's been 21 for 38 minutes and he's already trying to fist fight this dude over his girl
awwwww babys first drunken mistake
It's wednesday. OF COURSE HE'S DRUNK.
Randomize
