Riding a fattie is like riding a scooter, its ok just not in public.
His stupid grin looks like he's mid-ejaculation
So I'm banging this nun...
Isn't that how all good stories start? I like it already...
batman tramp stamp. Dibs.
Surefire way to sober up: discover that your car is being towed at 2 am.
What? Cold floors are soothing when you have a hangover. How am I supposed to pass that up. Even if I'm at my parents house
I told him I'd rather have sex with his father last night. I'll admit now that I was drunk.
You know that joke about taking tylenol pm and jerking off? you don't always win. sometimes you wake up in the morning naked lubed up cock in hand to the realator and would be perspective buyers laughing at you
She trust falled out of a window. It was like that scene from A Little Princess but with a lot more blood.
It's official, no more fat chicks or even close to that, my balls are 2 dimentional
No. Cease was criminally insane from birthday shots, and not a lot of women want to go home from the bar with a guy who wants to "snuggle but keep it strictly professional".
151 hangover. Need apocalypse.
Next time she asks for a ride to her "cousins" house and it turns out to be a booty call we're charging her for each mile.
…wtf were in those pills mom gave me
I do not recommend playing football on LSD like at all
Randomize
