am i morally bankrupt?
no. its just the recession
who let me buy 6 packs of big league chew? and eat them all? thats not cool
My dream in life is to scissor with Ellen. I don't care if I've got a dick. I'll make it work.
What's the procedure for failed threesomes? Do I friend her on facebook this morning?
similar to the time we made up the game of screaming at the top of our lungs any time a guy any of us slept with walked into the party. that went over SO well.
he wont speak to me right now because i told him it must suck knowing he'll never be as good as edward cullen..idiot.
and i think we compared dick sizes, then high fived...
You unbuttoned your shirt and started walking down the center of the road screaming traffic stops for Enrique Iglesias.
yes we did fuck in his chapter room. yes it was demeaning. and yes, they probably will discuss it at chapter tonight.
i must of done something right to please the booty call gods. . . maybe fucking that fat chick?
Nahh. Maybe not even a handful. It's more like a heaping teaspoon worth of dick.
Just thought you should know, Im with josh now. Im no longer available for rent. I have a full time tenant now. Like, a year long lease at least.
It's 5AM and I just stirred weed butter into ramen noodles. This is not where I expected to be at 30. ...But, hey, getting high off noodles.
How dare you not respond to me after opening up a picture of my bare breasts
I'm honestly just saving all my liver's power for when I die this weekend. that's how it works right
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