my little brother just told me that I should start chasing my vodka with slim fast. genious.
my boyfriend just told me he used to have genital herpes. I was gonna have sex with him, but now it's SOOO over.
what kind of stupid fuck tells you that BEFORE sex? he is definitely not a keeper.
its a sex-hate relationship...no love involved
If I puke off the kayak tomorrow think nothing of it.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
nothing like a call from your drunk grandpa at midnight on a wednesday to ask your parents if you're registered to vote...
most of the afternoon was spent sneaking around my house and alternating which bathrrom to throw up in.
You should have totally come, I started watering down vodka with cider. I have lost the sense of taste.
I just watched my mom get dick on Skype.
That d should have definitely been an s.
Just came to the realization that what I thought were orgasms were just lightheadedness from hyperventilation. My entire sex life is a lie.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So question... If I'm sexting with uncircumcised guy, do I have to add *then i gently pull your foreskin down*?
he's like a horny 3rd grader on cocaine. he needs a leash
You told him about your cats? I told his friend to put his dick in my mouth, and you talked about cats!?
wait i saw you last night?
we found you ass naked on the couch covered in pillows.
Let's just say, I'm pretty sure you're banned from Skype.... like, forever.
i want to say his dick was in it but not his heart
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