So I just went home and made my own spanx by cutting the legs off of a pair of nylons. I'm either a genius or missed my calling to live in a trailer park.
wait so...it's like an actual thing to masturbate using the detachable shower head? WTF I thought I was being creative!
just went to the store to buy a mop & tampons. i feel like i just gave in to all those women jokes.
He's really hot. I think he's gonna be my reason to shave this winter.
I don't think he realizes it but he was stroking the faucet while he was talking to me.
I bruised my spine.. Jungle gyms were clearly not meant for sex.
she asked to have her picture taken with every guy we walked by.
we're driving around with this really dirty (unclean and inappropriate) 60 year old ex-san quintin con named old skool d that my brother knows and hes bringing us to get weed. what is montana?
Let's get weird.
It's 10 am...
I'm assuming that means you're not busy...
We're like adult pinky and the brain when they decided that taking over the world is unrealistic so they aim lower by trying to get drunk every day.
You got a write up and a first aid award all in the same night. The don was impressed!
You HAVE to stop telling me about the shit you do drunk. I can't be both your brother AND your gay friend.
I watched you down those shots like a lion cub watching its mother rip apart a gazelle
Okay so it turns out that my bf keeps a log of every time I sleep-fart. It's dated back to 2013.
let me wake up, find my pants, and find out where i am tommorow and ill get back to you on that
Randomize
