if i could have babies with my dog i totally would cause i know thay would be fucking hott babies.
I enjoy that i have a whole shelf of clothes that I've accumulated from random sex. You know the ones you get to make the morning after look less awkward like similar to an athletes trophy shelf
I looked at my own cervix.
how was your night?
well, i just purchased 'sorry for being a drunk whore' cupcakes. how do you think my night was?
It's been over a month and I still can't find the bra I wore out on new years eve.
I have come to the conclusion that if you don't fulfill your life ambitions you should go into porn
i think you broke pat's ankle when you drove over it... he's freaking out but on a more serious note i'm 99% sure i saw a werewolf
we've had our differences but let's set them aside, go home and fuck
Third base with a 7ft basketball player last night. Fingers like a champ. I call him Edward Penishands.
Man my junk looks like a mangled grapefruit right now, this shit sucks.
My alarm went off and I went straight for your dick. That's dedication.
She took a six hour road trip with me so I could have revenge sex with my ex's brother. That is the definition of a best friend.
It was the cape. I can't control myself when I wear a cape.
Like its not even midnight and I've already had enough of her for all of 2015
If we're going to communicate going forward, you'll need to be versed in Gillian Anderson.
Randomize
