is it really this hard to find a guy i can fuck and have a good time with who doesn't ask where things are going btwn us?
you sound like my dream girl
please tell me if i'm home and in my bed
negative
come find me please
I just wiped my vajayjay with snow. Bad idea.
how do i tell her that i need alcohol to fuck her but at the same time i cant get a hard on with alcohol.
You insisted on squirting shots of captain morgan in your mouth with a turkey baster by like 930.
he was spitting whole peanuts projectile out of his mouth at the waitresses as they walked by and then yelled across the restaurant that he had "no problem kicking any of their asses"
Both the cop and the paramedic were hitting on me while I was on the ambulance. My boob fell out and they just about had full on erections right there. They Came back two hours later to sign my cast with their phone numbers. #stillhotwhilebleeding
I'm really hot. went tanning and this cheeseburger shirt like isn't breathable
I've never been more scared for my virginity in my life. And I lost my virginity almost 6 years ago.
I also slapped not one but two bananas on the ass, twerked in public, and I think I made out with someone
he's a fucking beast. people that don't even know him have started calling him "puke and raleigh"
If I ever go to jail it will be because of you, I can feel it.
Smoking a bowl and ordering Dominos, you want in on either, both, or none?
Why is it I can't go buy redbull and tylenol pm from a store without getting questions about my health choices?
Hey, don't blame me for the shitty evening; I wasn't the one who promised hookers, Dos Equis and foster kittens. Keith was.
Randomize
