Kiss
Puke
Drunk in some girls audi what the fuck is happenin i love sb
it's ELEVEN
thirty
Literally he has the smallest penis I've ever felt since 8th grade.
Just walked by a yard full of girls wearing bikinis. I did my best to stare.
Peach margaritas. And fuck whatever you're about to say, the girl to guy ratio is like 6:1. I need those odds
Please check on her. She announced that Thursday she'd open herself to any veteran so as to thank them for their service. "my services for your service" and left the bar with three numbers.
bro im too drunk for your spanish code words. did you fuck her or not.
I think making out with someone could be the cure to all my problems. That or more cowbell.
There was a pirates of the caribbean marathon on. No matter how much you like rum, it is NOT possible to outdrink the pirates. They always win.
He was just lying on the living room floor watching Star Wars with six empty pack of cigarettes and two empty cases of beer.
In his defence I guess I did take the bed, couch and dining room set in the breakup.
Is he the circus guy or the bi-curious street preacher?
Can rosie odonnell just not be a lesbian? Shes stressing me out, knowing we bat for the same team.
He yelled "HOO-ah!" like Al Pacino when he pulled down his pants. Trust me, he has every right to.
There is absolutely a 0% chance my hips will make it out of this twerking business fully functional
They were assless. I wore assless football pants.
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