I don't apprectiate you insinuating that my breasts have a sort of bremuda triangle effect
They made my facebook status "I got my period!!!." Every guy I've had sex with at college liked it.
Just beat my spinning in office chair record. Almost puked. Totally worth it.
theyre selling pepper spray in the courtyard. hellooo atl
I just did my online traffic school at the bar. No biggie.
walmarts paint section shouldnt be open at 3am
Boys that pee in my bed don't get happy birthday wallposts on facebook
Hypothetical Question: Would you take a cougar bullet for me?
You kept trying to get the girl i brought home to hook up with you by enticing her with 12 baconnators you brought home
We shouldn't eat pizza in the pool
We r drinking tequila out a glass bottle and smoking weed underwater, pizzas the least of our concern
Yeah if I don't text back. I'm eating. sleeping. Or lifting. Or drinking. Or playing call of duty. Like shit man
Reason # 294827284949272 i could never be a cop. I would just shoot. All the time. Ppl. Animals. Inanimate objects. Air.
when you wake up naked in a bed with glowsticks, a rolled ankle, a hangover, and a condom; alone. you wonder shit
Dude, A DAMN CHEESEBURGER HIT ME IN THE FACE!!! WTF was i suppoused to do!?.
I’ll always remember that day you sent me that random nude on accident lmao changed my life
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