haha i think we're both just down to be fuck buddies..but i do have a hickey and a bit of a big lip and fucking burns on my knees..note to self hooking up on a golf course is NOT that exciting
you know when i was in school the girls definitely did not have the tits the 15 year olds have now. so unfair.
My roommate was eating ketchup out of a bowl. Get me the hell out of here.
id like to point out that while i was just peeing a condom fell out of my vag.
Just witnessed a circumcision at clinical. i suddenly feel a sense of reconciliation over every guy who's done me dirty...
i was so fucked up i thought i was at home depot
I am actually insulted by the long string of ugly, fat girls he hooked up with after me.
Going to get a "plan B"urrito
She greeted me with a new giants jersey and an opening day blowjob. this is true love.
did i try to light ur hair on fire with a sparkler at the club saturday?
btw theres a pine tree in the downstairs shower. the guys thought it would be a great free air freshener.
That one life defining moment when you catch yourself pouring whisky into your hot chocolate at 4 am, whilst crying and talking to your dog.
What do I do when my mom and I both awkwardly spot the Rocky Horror parody porn sitting on the coffee table? Leave it or try to move it?
Babe, Have you see my pants?
Try Jay street in Brooklyn.. that's where I last remember seeing them.
we got cockblocked by his mom again...its like she has a radar on me
please stop trying to sleep with him
Randomize
