Where are I am going home with Ryan
I don't know who this or Ryan is but it is probably too late to talk you out of it
oh great. the only prospects for sex left for the night are douchebag in the ed hardy shirt & frodo-looking ass
fuck it... i'll be the lord of his rings
Just opened a bottle with my rape whistle. At least it's finally getting used for something.
It was everywhere, it looked like he just took the leftovers and threw them around the bathroom... Festively...
Did my good deed for the day.. Helped an old guy hide his beer on the NJ transit while the ticket lady came by
This is why i like single justin better. my only regret is not being present for more of his short life. may he rest in peace
Woke up naked wearing mismatched earrings. Didn't even make it to the bar.
Maybe it was that imaginary ghost dick you were stuffing in your mouth a minute ago
Remember when you fed me goldfish while I was -inside- of someone?
I should probably stop opening conversations with 'guess who's horny'.
Thanks for your faith in my ability to stay sober while writing final essays. It's...unearned.
I want to bone him until his eyes fall out
Fun fact: the guy I banged last night. His middle name on his birth certificate is "Windstorm."
I have finally found someone I enjoy for reasons that do not necessarily include his dick
He passed out with his shoes on 20 minutes till midnight, and I didn't have a sharpie so I took the cheese whiz and filled his exposed ass crack.
Randomize
