I just had unprotected sex with a stranger. but i did him wearing nothing but my pearls. so its classy.
don't worry. When rigor sets in, we'll make sure to get you laid one last time.
Have you come up with a team name for the beer pong tournament on Saturday?
We can be the stepdads. If anyone asks why say because we beat you and you hate us.
Nick just found a baggie of 3 year old shrooms in his desk drawer and downed it all with cheap white wine. I am not on vomit duty tonight.
I just met the 30 percent of the population with an STD
She had to get her inhaler in the middle of fucking...but she kept it in.
These guys are walking up and down the hallway yelling, "Yo, is this the floor with the unisex bathroom?"
just fed a duck at the lake a weed brownie. it hasnt moved in 20 minutes.
You mean the girl who was passed out face down on the bathroom floor until 10 AM? You're right, she was cute.
I like to think of them as justice herpes. She cheats on me and gets more than she bargained for.
According to him, i kept saying "I'm belligerent as SHIT" and tried to run around the house in just my bra and underwear. Thats when they decided to carry me to the car and take me home.
He bought me a burrito. I introduced him as "Horse-Dicked Jake" all night. My debt has been repaid.
My next goal in this relationship is to teach my boyfriend that there are valid reasons to be fear of dolphins completely.
hahahaha classic. this is why you are going to a college with a hospital right next to it
Still had our rainbow strip poker new years tradition. End of night we were only wearing mask.
Did you get the usual surprise pics from the strange straight you like to sprinkle in.
Randomize
