did you get engaged???
did i really try to jack off an athens police horse last night? please tell me youre kidding..
i saw like six of her guido cousins in the jersey shore trailer alone. her family is having a dinner party for the premiere tonight.
Her brother was practicing the clarinet....it was like having sex in a starbucks
when I sang my humps to you I meant it.
Sign out of Gchat. Right now my gchat list is entirely girls I've slept with.. and you. You are fucking up my gchat chi.
Mango bong: no go. Guava bong: sweet flaming buddha it was delicious. I shall teach you the ways of tropical fruit trees.
I don't text first unless I'm hammered...so ya I text first a lot
So my dad just walked in on me with the same girl twice in 3 nights. I told him if he wants to see her tits to adleast admit it. All he did was smirk.
That's actually a fantastic idea... The kinky sex dungeon will be vastly improved by the addition of a lightsaber
Also this is super embarrassing but sorry for licking your chest
It's 1am and I'm on LSD and I have diarrhea in a Dunkin Donuts. Help me
the staff put glowsticks in the urinals of the porta-pottys last night and honestly drunk me has never been more grateful for anything in his life
It was the scariest thing ever having a flame that close to my balls...
I am going to constantly be reminded of you for the next couple of days because of how sore my vagina is. It's just the price I have to pay.
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