Say my name once during sex just to fuck with her. Like when it gets rough.
i just made out with my boyfriends father...and so did jess
i just woke up and "where the fuck is taco bell" was in my search engine...
Taking the airport shuttle drunk should not happen this often in my life.
my whole body is tingling just thinking about the orgasm hes going to give me
He won't ever take me seriously if I keep getting drunk and hooking up with all his friends.
I'm eating the rest of the Xmas shrooms and welcoming 2012 by communing with the pine cone.
i feel like i got punched in the cervix. he's a little different in bed than i thought he would be..
I hooked up with a guy dressed as Justin Timberlake, while dressed as Britney Spears. Fuck Jessica Biel, all my 90's dreams are coming true.
You just kept walking around in a circle saying "well played 6th street well played" before falling over.
At this point, if I'm not getting fucked by a man in ONLY cowboy boots, it's not worth it.
My butthole probably tastes like a Cinnabon right now
So I heard her yell at him and I went downstairs to find he had lit up each one of my smokes and taken just one drag off each and had em lined up on the table. She says he "experiments" when on Ambien.
Two of us got arrested. Gonna be delayed a bit. Save me a burger.
just so you know. the medical term for period cramps is mettelschmerz.
glad to know something that causes such misery in my life has such a laughable name.
Randomize
