after we had sex last night he told me he smelled like my vagina. and then he said that if his roommate had a vagina he would probably smell like it. because "they hug weird and shit."
i was picked up off the floor by a stripper, if thats not a new life low then i dont know what is.
So, do you know where my left shoe is? I mean, we were at a few places last night, and I called them. No luck for me.
i'm just sitting here going through her tagged pics, covering up different parts of her face to try and figure out exactly what it is that makes her so ugly.
Drag queen told me that I have the cheek bones to do drag. That's supposed to boost my moral.
Wearing scrubs to buy plan b so I look like I have my life together.
I think I left my chapstick at your house when I tried using your penis as a catapult and flung it on the floor. Be a dear, and try to see if you can find it.
bro i dont care how hot she was, you try keeping it up with the amount of puppet he had in her room, it was like fucking in jeff dunham's house
How was it playing wingman?
I feel like I was rockys coach watching him get the shit beaten out of him by Apollo creed
The fact that it was "anything but a cup" now explains the cowboy boots and fishbowl aftermath at the apartment.
You have not lived until you've had your brains fucked out on a broken down Tunnel of Love ride. Life is good.
I woke up to some strange woman rubbing peanut butter on my thighs
I just need some breakup sex yanno like filthy wish fulfilling breakup sex to make me forget what I never had
I think I'm actually too depressed to do drugs, wow.
random boy in my bed. last night wasnt a dream. fuck.
Randomize
