I would fuck her until my dick fell off. then i would fuck her with your dick.
she called me screaming that i shouldn't ignore her phone calls, because she's not trying to get me to hang out with her and she doesn't want to be my girlfriend, she just wants sex.
what did you do?
i asked her out. that's so hot.
If there was chocolate on Regis Philban's dick, I would totally lick it off. That's how desperate I am for some right now.
I wish i could call my weed and hear it ring. That's how i found my phone.
She walked into class late sat down for 5 min muttered 'oh i cant do this' and walked out. She looked like death.
We should party with her soon
I woke up from my nap, looked out my window, and saw about bout 6 people get tasered in less than 20 seconds.....could someone please tell me what's going on.
He held the kayak still so I wouldn't tip over while projectile vomiting. If that ain't true love, I don't know what is...
Oh and Dustin informs me I'm a legend amongst the freshman, if you were wondering about my street cred
if a girl cums in a dorm room and no one hears it did it really happen?
I'm getting 800 nuggets from McDonald's
The way I see it, there's 2 types of friends. Those you should do drugs with, and those you really,really shouldn't.
Did he hurt you? I have a crowbar I can beat his sorry ass with
Drunk me left sober me a shower beer in expectation of Hurricane Harvey. Drunk me is the best.
I SHOULD BE TERRIFIED OF HIS DRAGON DICK.
I'm like a bad decision making factory. I need to sit down and have a chat with my decision making elves.
Randomize
