Drunk in some girls audi what the fuck is happenin i love sb
it's ELEVEN
thirty
Who spends 33 dollars at Taco Bell and lives???
We're official. Living with your boyfriend sounds so much better than fucking your roommate.
I drove to my yoga class while eating a piece of bacon. Wow. I see myself in a whole new light.
Question: Would it be wrong to just fuck both of them and decide who to date one performance of their cocks?
he was like the dessert in the all you can eat man buffet that has become my life.
She alternated between blowing me and feeding me bites of the sandwich she made for me.
When I eventually hook up with a resident lets refer to it as taking a hands on approach to my job
whoever brushed my teeth and whitened them while i was passed out, thanks.
Just got attacked by a family of raccoons, I have the worst luck.
How does one go about breaking up with their bf on vacation?
I just remember lots of butts and something about ranch dressing.
I am on my way right now and I SWEAR TO GOD IF YOU EAT MY BURRITO YOU WILL NEVER SEE MY TITS AGAIN
I have an empty apartment, Chinese food, and fresh batteries in my vibrator. There's nothing on this earth that could lure me out tonight.
The cop told you he couldn't let you pee. You just pulled your pants down and squared anyway and im surprised you didnt get arrested.No more drinking for you.
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