I jusy said out loud "gingers unite in the middle of the night"
How, after 24 years of life, did I manage to revisit breastmilk
I just experienced a full blown christian wedding. I am SO GLAD YOUR WEDDING WASNT THIS.
I wish real life had facebook tags so i could figure out who all these people are
if you wouldnt have been fucking me hard and crazy like that then my bed wouldn't have broke. you owe me 600.
so you admit it was good then??
time for a it's-monday-night-and-this-week-is-gunna-suck-drink.
downstairs . braiding the drunk passed out girls hair, she will thank us In the morning
I told him I had AIDS after he bit me. His dad cried. I think I just ruined the little guy's 3rd birthday, but he had in coming.
You can glorify being single all you want but relationships are awesome. I haven't gone more than 24 hours without sex since June.
There should be an app that tazers me in my pocket when I'm spending too much money at the bar. Take a hint, Android Network. You slut.
I just encountered the same creepy guy I showed you, he jumped inside the dumpster screaming.
I would go disguised as someone he didn't have premature ejaculative sex with but I don't know if I could stay in character.
He may have been a dick but he DID give me his Netflix log in. Maybe some good did come of it.
you know maybe it wouldnt be so bad if it hadnt happened before. At least I didnt blow him this time
I'm going to leave the 5 dollars that fell out of my bra while fucking in his room on the dresser as an apology
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