420 ftw
Dude I wish you were here. I'm innthe back seat and it looks like outer space and everything feels like rice. idk. wtf.
Just think about how many life skills I lack. Cooking... Driving... Sobriety...
They were going around the house breaking things and screaming "Not my house!"
Not enough clothes on. Not enough vagina. Not enough drugs in my body.
Repeat the weekend mantra. "I like boys with teeth, I need boys with teeth, I deserve boys with teeth, I will have boys with teeth".
I'm so disappointed in myself I can actually taste it.
Does it taste like semen?
15 year-old stoners have those problems. we're college students dude. dont be like that...
Think of it this way, instead of a puppy, we're getting a baby.
I'm not going to pass up the opportunity to be half naked and covered in glitter without facing judgement or legal prosecution. I'll be there.
Lets just say...I plan on being a bigger shitshow than Miley Cyrus at the VMA'S
Eh. Fuck him. He's missing out. I'm legit naked and drinking straight from the bottle of wine.
If muffins & morning blowjobs don't make him happy, frankly, I don't think anything will.
I think the highlight of my night is when I was eating a mayonnaise sandwich. drunk me was on point.
We finally gave up searching because everything had started to look like flip flops
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