dude you made out with his girlfriend and stole his credit card to buy more drinks
well when you put it that way, I sound like a terrible person
I just don't understand how my upright asian catholic roommate is getting more than me.
I can totally hide my daquiri in my sling.
i just know my balls have never hurt this bad before
I forgot to mention I threw up in my wine glass AND my neighbors empty cup.
Note: footlong is not the password to the subway wi fi network.. p.s- im super high
I don't think I can handle being a slut. There is a lot more emotional stress that I never realized.
Seriously wondering if smoking a bowl for lunch was a bad idea.
OR THE BEST. STAY TUNED.
There's somethin not right about having to take the batteries out of your 27 year old boyfriends gameboy to use in your vibrator
Yeah but I get laid and I know. He drank toilet water last night and he doesn't know about that either. Still makes me happy though.
Dude. There's gotta be an article in Cosmo about it cause I've had three different girls tongue tickle my brownie this month.
Do you think I should still be the condom fairy for Halloween even though I'll be like.. Almost 8 months pregnant?
I'm basically a mama hen. I keep them warm and let them wonder around the house. not to mention, I keep eye on them just in case the falcons around the house try to snatch them away.
I don't even know what to say right now
He made me cum 7 times AND I nearly drowned him during that 69 in the back of a ford focus. Yeah I should get my gynocologist.
I'm still not 100% sure who I'm sleeping with
Randomize
