I can't believe all I ate yesterday was half a turkey sandwich and 20 finger licks of exctasy.
I made him drop me off at the wrong house waited for him to leave and crawled through several fences so he couldnt stalk me. How was your night?
You always know it is going to end badly when a guy asks if he met you at a "coed naked lawn bowling party"
Hey do you have anything at your house 30 ft. tall to throw eggs off of?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Next time when I try to seductively eat onion rings while drunk remind me of tonight.
did i mention he attempted to milk her in backseat?
i think he was starting go for a boob grab when we both realized the middle of a public tennis court wasn't the place
He doesn't care. He wouldn't care if my vag grew arms and smacked him in the face.
Yea. I feel great. My life is great. My job isn't as shitty. And my daddy loves me. I love strip clubs. Great self esteem boost.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Dude, you were tagged in a stripper FB selfie. That is a whole new level of something.....
I was fed cake in bed and then was pinned down and ridden till I came. And then fed more cake. I'm going to marry Brad. I'll put money on it.
You just managed to turn Doctor Seuss into a sext. I really like you now.
One minute we were ordering sandwhiches. The next hes peeing in a trash can yelling at kids about how tv made him this way
I'm going to make a stack of pancakes and fuck it. Right now.
You're a wizard. You are a master of disguise. You are beautiful. I love you.
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