I'm almost 25, which means I can ride with girls that have permits
if I could go back to kindergarten and not fuck up my life, I so would.
Dude i was hungover i didnt know she was in the shower, she screamed i screamed we all screamed and i just so happend to piss in the shower.
sitting on my lesbian neighbors couch, sexting, & eating a burrito.. that single
I have an explanation for how we got this drunk this fast... but you wont like it. We are officially in complete liver failure.
Just had a shirt made that says "I'm sorry" going to wear it every sat and sun morning for the foreseeable future
Hey could you buy me 2 bottles of arbor mist? I'm trying to get laid tonight
How do I know if porn I have watched is haunted?
She was wearing some slutty variation of a toga and giving the entire bus a pep talk on why we should black out tonight...I'M IN LOVE AND I DON'T CARE WHO KNOWS IT!
There's a lady lying down on the sidewalk in front of our building smoking a cig
I'm pretty sure his cum gave me swimmer's ear.
Also so weird my phone cracked after I repeatedly threw it at the ground as hard as possible
I have no regard for my liver, you should know this.
I just discovered my new vice. Cotton candy vodka. Its like a carnival in my mouth, puking of the tilt-a-whirl included.
yeah, last night we handcuffed you and you started crying saying that you weren't a bad person
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