Driving out to Plano is like driving away from your twenties
i literally forgot his name and just started calling him "waffles"
I'm the only kid serving jury duty. And I'm the only one who may walk out of here in handcuffs for a warrant. I'm enabling these people to doubt America's youth once again.
Don't get the hula weed. It makes you sleep walk in destructive and confusing ways. I'll explain on Saturday.
Tomorrow morning i will black in to find a christmas tree in my room that i dont remember how i got. I love college
We got to the party at eleven, and the host was already in the hospital from being stabbed. And she brought the stabber home with us when we left.
The only thing that was weird was that it WASN'T weird when she got out of the shower and saw me blowing him.
This is kind of a weird question but were you the other girl Ben asked to do a group sex thing with?
No matter how drunk I am or how drunk I'll ever be I love you
She took a six hour road trip with me so I could have revenge sex with my ex's brother. That is the definition of a best friend.
The body is still out there. I don't think my trainer realized when he asked me not to drink for 24 days, how often I see dead people
Van sex tonight? No need to tell me how classy that sounded.
3 hour lecture of my biology teacher talking about isotopes and space shuttles. I'm way too high for this.
Any who, I expect to be showered with roses apon my arrival
How about beer and nachos?
A fine substitute!
Jesus christos I come home and am treated like my vagina is made of gold
Either that or it dispenses candy
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