i found a roscoes card in my pocket that says 'fuck me bare fo $15.20'. Wow
he literally just asked me which v neck he should wear tomorrow.
I have one brief flash of having his dick in my hand. that's all I remember.
the only reason he called me tonight was because I fertilized his crops on farmville.
I was blowdrying my hair this morning and I swear to god it smelled like franzia
Spent 30 minutes in the board meeting trying to figure out where the foul smell was coming from. Thought it was the guy's feet sitting next to me. Then i uncrossed my legs. Turns out it was my vagina. Thank goodness for travel size febreeeze.
this is random but who was banging in the shower in our condo?
we got cut off at 8 am. He spilled his drink three times on the plane. this should be one hell of a vegas trip
I think we should go through the tsa checkpoint with raging hardons when we go through LAX. I think we should pass out some viagra to everyone
I'd be careful with that one, she got 86'd from the family dollar while SOBER.
Why do you think she gets more guys?
well her prof pic is her in her bedroom looking hot and mine is me looking terrified while holding a giant spider at 6 flags, so there's that
It's all a blur. I just remember holding some strangers baby
Yah. Thai people are way too trusting
Yeah probably not. I have a hair appt, a gun class, and hopefully a boy to fuck. I'm booked.
I swear if you laugh while im moaning i will immediately stop and go home.
Sometimes, being an adult means buying a bottle of whiskey after work and live tweeting the commercial breaks on food network.
Randomize
