well there was some sort of sex marathon going on in my house last night..jess and i vs my parents...and im ashamed to say that we lost and my parents out-sexed us
He had on juicy sweatpants and thats when i knew he was no longer a threat.
rubbing her clit was like playing thumb war
white trash bash was a total success...cops shut it down twice and her hair stayed in rollers all night..she never broke character
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
All I know is for some reason I was sitting naked in the hallway playing an invisible ukulele singing somewhere over the rainbow. I wonder why security came.
I woke up to ritz crackers on the lawn, a keystone behind the hedge and puke on the rental car... i think that we have become that house...
It is scary how often "just flash him" is your advice.
We had sex in the tent after his 6th beer and while we were at it we had conversations with the people outside the tent.
Apparently my Ambien addled brain last night actually did decide to go ahead and photoshop you into various animal and human molesting scenarios. That's a hell of a thing to wake up to.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Got dumped. Now accepting nominations for my extra Dave Mathews ticket. No xboyfriends. Must cast final votes by Monday. Good luck everyone
I just got hit on at the bar by a guy who used his mother as a wingman, she was pretty convincing. Only in Stratford.
It also means I'm watching porn with mario earphones so i can hear. Possibly the best way to mastrabate EVER
On a scale of 0 to Thanksgiving, there is no amount of food that fights against tequila.
The FEDEX guy just cock blocked me by getting his van stuck in my driveway
Your life is a soap opera of great sex, cats, and booze.
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