We got so high yesterday we tried watching soccer
I made a google map for "places I got blow jobs"
When else am I ever going to have a chance to do lines with T-Pain?
I had my first sober conversation with his roommate. I remembered half way through that the first time we met I was getting fucked on his counter
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I can't believe I had to sit there pretending to play Halo with a condom on for 20 Minutes because your brother barged in to tell a story.
No one suspects that a sweet girl who is excited about her anniversary with her bf just blew her partner at work in a communal area a few hours ago, so its cool.
Do you have any pics of the gummy penis incident?
Lets ignore the fact that you want to turn your dorm room into a sex dungeon and focus on the real issues here.
"I gave a guy a handjob last night, on a dog bed, inside a fireplace. It's going to be a good year."
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
why is there blood on my car? and are we still friends?
It's still 8am.
Yeah, but its wine drunk. WITH A DOCTOR. THAT MAKES MY MORNING CLASSY.
Why do I have a wristband from the birthing center at the University of Maryland hospital....
Last night I recall my hair going up in flames. This is evident by the burnt hair smell that is following me around this morning
Yeah come over whenever. Weed gets here at 8.
I'll be there at 7:59.
Fucking a younger guy is now a game of odds. The chance that he gives me corona virus is outweighed by the evening of orgasms I know he’ll give me.
Randomize