I drunkenly sent a picture of my scrotum to the entire baseball team last night
I remember saying "sorry" to the blunt before throwing it out the window
His apartment number was 69. I had to.
Its official. I've reentered slutty territory. I was a condom away from having sex in a childs playhouse at a park. Oh and I lost my car keys.
thanks for the bloody nose. you probably dont remember, i'm not mad.. only because your boobs are to blame
Priorities: waking up on your doorstep desperately clutching half a meatball marinara but with no sign of your keys, purse or housemate. Where are you?!
I figured it out. If I have at least 4 shots of vodka before I start my day, EVERY day will be a good day.
I knew no one else would have gone along with it since it's morally wrong and probably illegal. You said, "Yes. And let's add fireworks."
I'm straight up riding in the back of my truck in a bean bag chair right now. Feet propped up and four loko in hand. Glorious.
Okay... I just said "preach it" to the pokemon theme song. I'm hammered.
Thanks for the pic It's going to be lovely dealing with my boner while I'm in a meeting with your father.
National champion athletes like gay butt sex, too. I'm just here to help them out.
There are way too many people I have fucked in this class for this not to be awkward
I was at his place until 2am. We just sat really close an stared at each other. I think you are right. Germans must not have feelings. Not even tingly ones in their pants.
Reverse road head. Sa-witch!!!
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