Britney fell asleep on the couch in the foier, got up stripped then pissed on the floor. Then got dressed and went to sleep in it. Also downstairs toilet clogged. Not me. I will be gone by the time you get home from work. Have fun.
I just did the scooter of shame. New levels of embarrassment have now opened.
She can't keep using her latex allergy as an excuse to go bareback with everyone.
woke up in a shopping cart using a keystone box as a blanket. how was your night?
i literally forgot his name and just started calling him "waffles"
i was gonna tell him a really embarassing story about you, but then i remembered im in all of them
Hairspray is covering 85% of my body. Help.
Wait until you see the roof.
Yes perhaps we are both wrong. And did you call me bj girl?
he is allergic to cats. we can only glue dog hair on him. otherwise he might die and i dont want to be responsible for that.
ahaha ok
let's call it "werewolfing"
I've been told that their best stripper is on maternity leave. NEVER AGAIN.
The only rule I'm making for myself tonight is to not drink out of the sink at the bar.
My sweat smells like Wild Turkey. I'm really feeling the holiday spirit.
Come camping we have xanax and steaks
You had a good week dude, you bought a motorcycle and a beer bong with ur parents money, missed 2 classes, and ran from security twice, good first 2 days to college
Kids music just accidentally came on at this party. I didn't know how many stoners were here until they all sang along.
Randomize
