it's like everything I expected to see tonight all put together in one at once
that is the greatest description ever
Just watched 1 guy 1 jar with my mom. Awkwardville...
i hope when i become a housewife i'm more of a gretchen and less of a vicky
my girls lil sis wanted to play hide & seek. she told her 2 go hide. we went to the room and had sex. she was hiding under the bed.
this is no time to have dignity 4/20 is coming
Nothing like throwing up 1/2 price appatizers and 2 4 1 personal pitcher in uniform to remind myself what a succesful failure I am
Lil wasted at a baby shower. Here's to beating teen pregnancy BOTTOMS UP
I thanked her dad for "firing off a good one" when she was conceived. She said thats why he doesnt like me.
At second job interview this week. Wearing pants to hide pole dancing bruises. This my life.
I don't remember much but I think I'm wearing your underwear, and for that, I am extremely grateful.
Does this mean I don't have to apologize for launching about 20 bead necklaces at you from the balcony?
Dad's teaching me to make moonshine this weekend as "college prep". How scared should I be sis?
No way in hell. Unless I was drunk Tindering again....my swiping finger gets drunk too I guess
Where the hell did you pick this girl up? She just licked my cat and stole our last poptart.
In celebration of finishing my homework, lets drink tea w/ vodka
Randomize
