I admire the strength of friendship we have that allows for sharing husbands.
I just followed a trail of feathers and glitter to class. Today better be fucking magical.
Don't worry we didnt bang. Sometimes I just bring guys home so I don't order pizza.
how do i word it so it doesnt sound like im asking him if he has ever been in jail.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I found a digiorno pizza in my washing machine.
Found a 10-can wizard staff hidden in our closet. Did we cut someone off?
That's yours. We cut you off.
Update: we are pushing the start of day drinking back from 9 am to 10 am. Minor delay.
You looked like my 4th grade science fair volcano project when you burped. Told you chugging a 40 would be awesome.
how was it?
he was petting the bushes because they were "napkins"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Fun holiday story for you: Alex and I went out drinking. She left. I needed a ride home. Met this dude and told him to drive my car back. Once at my house, I made him take out my dog and then apologized for not wanting to make out with him. I said, let me go see if my roommate is interested and then I slept in Alex's bed all night.
20 bucks says he was an actual leprechaun
He was wearing an Affliction shirt, a Monster hat, and he asked me for anal within 5 minutes of meeting me. Like 3 strikes and you're out, bro.
Ate a live seahorse, then tried to order a nacho bell grande from an ATM.
How the fuck do you get to keep practicing as a Nurse.
I tried to find an emoji but none convey my excitement for receiving good sex soon
I can't dude. Last time I was there, I blew the bartender in the bathroom at last call.
As long as it's more "this is where i see an issue" vs "psst.... tiddies" then i have no argument
Randomize