Solid performance last night. Wanna be fuck buddies?
im sitting at a bagel shop wearing a princess crown hungover and have a sweater that is not mine.
he's dressed up as spiderman, i don't understand why he's crying.
He's pole dancing on a heat lamp.
I had to put a towel over my laptop because the little power light was too bright. New hangover low.
If youre wondering about the smell, i set your hamster on fire. But don't worry he's ok
Guess I was throwing darts at a patrons head last night, lol! Black out
We're following a guy carrying a door for beer pong at his place..join us when you are deemed sober enough to leave the hospital.
I hate how much more visible my vomit is on snow, I need a winter vomit bush
"my nose is broken but I'm beer pong champ so it evens out really"
Realizing life ain't all about burritos and strippers, it's a struggle out there, and it ain't looking pretty so far,..
Blowing lines in the bathroom and trying to get into the mindset of someone who wants to be at work for 12 hours
Just witnessed some guy throw his fake eye at his dad's face. Actually, he whipped it at him.
This is like 50 shades on steroids but with healthy relationship models and mutual respect among all parties involved and lesbian activity.
My horoscope should say: you're an alcoholic, get help today, Pisces
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