Who haven't you slept with?
No one comes to mind.
I think id rather eat ped egg shavings.
just found my calculator watch from 6th grade. the hipster transformation is complete
once the "do it" chant starts, any shot at an even remotely dignified party experience is dead.
he's only going to be home for two days, his dick is going to be in me for the whole 48 hours, he doesnt have a choice.
She made a roadhead CD. Can I marry her?
Technically he's married but he says it's "not like that" even tho his wife lives with him. Not sure if I believe him but I'm sleeping with him anyway.
You challenged yourself to walk backwards all the way to the bar... And you did
Captain Morgan didnt let me down when i stand up it feels like the world is trying to hand me rainbows.
Let's get weird.
It's 10 am...
I'm assuming that means you're not busy...
When nipples stop being hilarious I'll stop getting them out in public.
we received free cupcakes at the first bar, and then I at the second bar i hooked up with a fat chick from Cincinnati on the patio.
you win some, you lose some.
Socially acceptable to sleep in a booth in the library? Its not finals but I dunno if I can make it back to south. Too drunk.
He woke me up at 6:30 to have sex again and afterwards, he didn't even judge me when I asked him if he wanted some rum. I think I found my soulmate.
I'm like a camel in the desert in a black hole I'm so thirsty.
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