Smith looks like a guy that goes on a lot of first dates
unlike you, ive never imagined darth vader masturbating
He just made a mudslide using rubinoff and swiss miss packets. This can't end well....
PS- I just stirred my mimosa with a slice of bacon
As i was walking home this morning some old lady was walking her dog and i said hello to her as our paths in life met, then i proceeded to puke in someones front yard and never looked back
Also his beard was very delicious looking. I wanted to touch it so bad, but I held back.
We ended up debating which Food Network host would do best in porn.
Bro, I just googled 36 year old pussy so when I do see it I won't be shocked.
As a general rule of thumb, I don't call until the claw marks have healed.
There's nothing more awkward than going on a beer run with 3 ten year olds....teacher of the year right here!
I just delete my bank app from my phone to have enough storage to download tindr. Is this my life now?
I accidently sent a dick pic to the group chat with her family. Right after they all said it was a pleasure having me for dinner. Wana drink with me?
I don't know where I'm at. But I'm pretty sure what I'm looking at is a small bear.
Typical. We're ready to go, and you're not wearing pants.
It wasn't until after we began having sex again the next morning I realized I didn't know his name.
Randomize
