cruising supermarkets, asking random people where i can get weed. fuck alaska
he came faster then a bring it on movie goes to dvd
i love insurance, just had an iv with 4 bags of fluid, 2 shots of finagrin and a 2 hour nap . woke up without a hangover. all for $20
Remember when we did the egg drop from the Dyson building? Her vag is like that, except with a ham, and the ham doesn't make it. I'll be back to the apartment in ten.
I am currently eating pure cake frosting...I am not sure how I was ever referred to as a responsible adult.
and she was grinding on the wall, purring at guys she liked at the pregame...
I'm sure that's not what the inventers of the Turkey baster had in mind, but that's what I had in mine.
Woke up with the note 'going outside. Ignore bloody spoon. Be back soon' taped to my forehead. Know anything about it?
I am the kind of drunk to where i can still drive a golf cart
I plan on drinking enough to kill at least 2 frat boys and make an aa meeting weep for joy
He fucks like those drill things that you see when you think of texas
It's not even close to Halloween but there is a girl in a nurses outfit. Twerk or twat.
I'm cooling my balls with a beer because I'm too cheap to turn on the AC
So if your sore it's because you tried to tackle a tree last night. When I told you at the party, you said "What do you expect, I'm an athlete!"
Reminder to self: never have sex on a trampoline. Trampoline burn hurts worse than carpet burn.
Randomize
