if i'm ever as drunk as the girl in front of me... kill me.
I'm pretty hammered, I'll elaborate tomorrow
well apparently i yelled MY VAGINA WAS ANNIHILATED and his whole family heard
once he started yelling at me in latin, i wasn't sure what we were fighting about anymore...
Too many people are naked here for this to be normal.
My balls had bee stings let's just leave it at that.
So even though we broke up apparently according to my voice mail you still like me, with smurfs while riding on a boat.
how did my horoscope know i was too hungover to operate a stove.
I got home and laid by the toilet and then alexa laid in the bathtub and sang the preamble while kayla held my hair
So I fucked her. If you're keeping score at home, it's all tied up with horrible sex with someone I like and great sex with someone I hate both with 1.
This late night dumpster diving sesh is making my quads cramp up
The bartender had to walk me home last night. New high or new low?
The three yr old girl I nanny grabbed a pole just now and is chanting "this is my house"
Sounds like you at that dive bar last weekend
Also I think I realized when my life started to turn into shambles.. The day I took my high school senior picture WITH A HICKEY ON MY NECK
Is it bad that I tried to build an outfit based around "What do people who use condoms look like when they buy condoms?"
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