I hope you shit your pants in a socially devastating situation.
she was dressed as a doctor claiming that after she was done i would have a "permaboner"
Just hide your weed in your baby brothers shirt. TSA wont check a baby, thats fucked up
Please tell me this is my four loko that I just woke up in....
I think i lit a firework with a joint. happy birthday, america?
4pm update. Theres smashed cake inside my duffel bag, a vodka bottle in the dish drainer, and the most productive thing ive done is make 40 pigs in a blanket
There's a homeless man outside the bar. I have a toothbrush and toothpaste in my car. I think i'm going to give them to him. And they said drinking is bad.
You're so thoughtful.
she tied the funnel to the fucking ceiling...
I'm high, watching "Scream" and eating a grilled cheese sandwich off my boobs. I'm not going anywhere
Come on, clusterfuck. Put on a pushup bra and get your fine ass to the bar, or you will be a sad single stoner forever
I tried to order champagne at IHOP last night
I'm so glad you support me having casual sex with your uncle
I buy a new bowl every time I get a new guy. It's retail therapy.
still can't believe dude took a personal call while he was balls deep in my mouth.
Lol for real, I'm Kylie Jenner "this is my year of realizing things" right now
Fuck your fuckin pumpkin spice. You and your subtle differences frighten and disgust me.
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