I just cleaned my sheets and decided to do a black light test. My headboard is a masterpiece.
Talk about the highs and lows of a night out: had a threesome, then got robbed at knifepoint.
remember the used condom we threw behind my bed? my mom found it and is accusing me and making a big deal out of it,
Haha! You pissed me off, so I actually told her to go look behind your bed. Good thing I moved to Nevada, so your dad can't kick my ass. Good luck bitch.
some people offered us free beer as long as we shotgunned it and after you shotgunned four without pausing they took their offer back
Post-shopping-cart-scooter-jousting victory fuck?
You said you wanted to start a restaurant called 'Barbecue' where everything is barbecued. You sounded really proud of your concept.
It's 2:30 on a Friday afternoon. It's snowing and must be about 20 degrees outside. I'm sitting in this class with 300 people using up every ounce of energy and willpower not to puke all over the girl in front of me. This has got to stop.
In between rounds of sex, you stopped and did drunken handstand push-ups.
I put on slutty clothes under my normal clothes, im like fucking super slutwoman
Best superhero ever to exist
We were supposed to hurry because the restaurant closed at 9. I ended up giving him a blow job so we had to eat at Arby's instead.
We smoked a huge blunt and then laid in bed naked eating strawberry shortcake good humor bars. We have the perfect relationship.
I just pawned the ring from my ex boyfriend to replace the ring I lost from my current boyfriend. #thanks
Is Facebook telling the truth about your nipples?!
i woke up and couldnt remember who was in my bed and it was so dark.. i rolled over and started kissing him and feeling his face because hey... if the blind can see like that.. maybe i could too
We left an ass print on the conference room table, but I don’t think anyone caught on
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