So I used the "I've never cummed from a BJ before" line last night.
And that worked?
9 for 9! Not only does it give them a goal but they have a sense of accomplishment afterwards.
He must be back home now. He moved his box of beer from her porch to ours.
Her directions to the house party: "the north star will guide you, turn left. I'm wearing the potato hat"
when i tried to put the condom on he started screaming about how he didn't want his groceries bagged
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Dude he was a used car salesman for his friends' penises. I know I have something here that's right for you!
I'm sorry for the texts and anything that I said that may have caused confusion, pain or irritation. I shall not be drinking again. Furthermore I will not be keeping a phone on me should I fail to adhere to the prior statement.
Just called my dad drunk from bed to ask for bacon.. my niece texted me when it was ready.. i'm never moving out
She's drunk as hell locked up I. The bathroom with my shoes where do I go from here
She was just a sweet cute intern for us until I saw her naked in my bed the day after the Christmas party
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Well get back to your date and give him the ceremonial 1am handy and text me when your done.
you got coffee,laid,and a sandwich. that never happens when I work
You spent the entire night trying to get me to make out with you
yeah I remember. your boyfriend shouldnt have cheered me on though.
Its really hard to get off when the googly eyes on your vibrator stare into your soul..
I screenshoted his dick pic the other day because it literally looked like a brontosaurus. Like that really tall dinosaur that eats grass. Like I wanna draw a face on it.
Oh man I missed being single! Two different guys just sent me dick pics during my kid’s little league game.
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