she said i have a nice penis, i told her only bob saget and god could judge that.
also referred to as T.P.S. (Toddler Penis Syndrome)
is sleeping with your Political Science professor Politically incorrect?
Was he helping you 'cram' for your final, or just giving an oral exam?
you need to do more things constructive for your career. like wearing pants more often.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The only piece of furniture in the apartment is a wine rack.
i woke up to the sound of my roommate climbing onto my desk mumbling that she was going to bed
Bitch guess who just got a fucking taser
I apologize for tapping your ass. It was a friendly tap. Like Casper. Ya know
Getting free blow from a total stranger, who asked permission to stroke my eyebrows, was the highlight of my evening out. Also, I have a new cuddle dealer.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The dominoes guy came back thirty mins later to ask me out. I guess he figures if I'm eating pizza alone I must have gotten dumped
His Australian accent during sex made me think I was in an Outback Steakhouse commercial
he’s basically the devil with a fuck boy hair cut and chlamydia
He hit me with his bagpipe
Isnt that against the lesbian handbook?
Have you actually looked at the corn flakes box? I don't think the rooster has a soul.
My dad just invited me to smoke a blunt with him. Parent-child bonding at its finest (and highest).
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