I love how its suddenly "not all about sex" now that he can't get it up
how much land on farmville do you have now? i sold all my shit to make room i need more money... these animals need to know I'm running a business not a charity.
She's in Spain. I'm in Holland. World Cup Final is Sunday.
Dude, it's like the Romeo and Juliet of FIFA.
went thru the pain of a Brazilian and he's passed the fuck out while i eat Doritos and watch tbs. fuck married life i want out
We had on the same team jersey so at the time it made sense to hook up.
Duh.
How do you say "get out of my apartment" in Spanish. No time to explain, just tell me.
"Functional." Your standards for how you feel after drinking are so high.
When your night starts by chugging margarita and drinking vodka out of tupperware, I feel it's best to stay realistic.
When I die, I want you to spread my ashes at a Cracker Barrel.
What part of a retired stonemason dealing with your rock hard cock does not sound like you have the wrong number ?
i may or may not have triedto pee like a boy and then dipped cheese ino the olive oil
how does someone with a Masters Degree leave poop in an ashtray in the sink? It just blows my mind
On the plus side, I know I'm allergic to latex now. Like really fucking allergic
Look, all I'm looking for is a good time and someone whose chest I can bury my face in
the awesomest thing about staying behind in our lame ass dorm room by myself during spring break: I've now nutted in 3 inconspicuous locations on your side of the room. brag to me again about how fucking awesome tahoe is you shithead. I dare you.
there are LEGIT cum stains on my ceilling. ON THE CEILLING!! you tell me how the relationship was.
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