hey its robert, we just made out in the backyeard. i'm inside now and you should come to the bathroom and meet me.
You were outside the bathroom the gay guy was puking in, screaming "IT GETS BETTER!" over and over again. Good message, poor execution.
Note to self: the judgement that occurs when unrolling your last 5 which was used to snort drugs the night before, to pay for alcohol before noon on a Monday is worth just sucking it up and taking an overdraft fee.
Wait a min, you had drugs last night?!
I NEED YOU TO TELL ME ITS OKAY TO BE THIS HIGH
Yes
O.K.
Boobs speak an international language.
In other news it turns out I like Heineken.. In a desert island kind of way
Your "dubstep at ceilis" resulted in a random naked guy busting into my room and peeing all over my bathroom
I can't help the fact that i'm turned on by white boys that look like Jesus
They just broke the window so they could get in and smoke the taxi driver out...
The first crop top of the year and you're rocking it in the ER. #ratchet
What is my life?
She was doing hand motions and used straws from drinks like those airport light batons to have me back my "747 jumbo dick" towards you.
I'm sorry but if you can talk well enough to critique his oral game, he clearly needs the pointers.
They should make eskimo sister bracelets. OMG WE NEED BRACELETS WITH IGLOOS ON THEM.
Where am I? And why the fuck did you leave me here?
Relax. I left you somewhere safe plus you have all my weed so you know I will come back for you.
I will not go because I am a man of my word and of my penis.
Randomize
