she was trying to give me a handjob in biology class while we were learning about the penis.
I feel bad for the person that has to clean the dishes that I peed on last night.
You'll be the guy with the raft that sells burritos on the river. You'd be legendary.
Does it make me a prostitute if I accepted a Life House concert ticket for giving this guy head?
No. It just means your good at giving head.
Bullshit. No way. If I brushed past your penis it was completely coincidental.
I don't think casual Fridays means I can go to work with dried cum in my hair...
I'm responsible for my client's overall well-being. Which is terrifying coming from someone that can't stop masturbating and eats leftover pizza just about everyday.
watched my neighbor eat five yodels, mow his lawn, and then cry on his porch after the party... what did you give him?
Well I think won that argument, as the cops were leaving, they offered me a ride to the airport
So my parents just watched me pour their rum into a bottle and only add crystal light powder, no water... Talk about being judged. All I could say was "Cortland tricks?"
i feel like when you brought up the possibility of you getting pregnant the sexting is over
Yeah, this is not that. This is a father and son bonding moment involving my all of my orifices.
The part where he comes over and ignores you isn't what makes me mad about that story... It's the fact that he ate your tacos, AND THEN proceeded to ignore you. That's cold hearted.
Yeah I don't think your wife thinks it's a good thing that you're fucking your cousin.
I'm not the type to go to a guys house...in your case his boat...and sleep with them..I mean I have in the past but I'm trying to be more serious and grown up
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