I'm in a subway station watching a tranny do her makeup. This is like watching a unicorn giving birth.
just walked past a group of stoners who were staring open jawed in the spice aisle. tonight they will stumble upon something amazing.
someone was throwing condoms at us.
no, they just magically show up around you.
They ran through the sprinklers in front of campus police, shirtless. Singing "love is a battlefield"
hi sober isdnt real. this is a mass rtoomate taext i thing. bye
AMAZING.
friends don't put videos of other friends on youtube puking on their professor on the first day
I'm gonna hire strippers dressed like the founding fathers.
Maybe it's just my body's way of telling me I don't need pinky toes. Like I'm the next evolutionary leap or something...
For sure. Gotta go. Building an igloo.
The part of "Dave" will now be played by "Rob." Rob, why don't you unzip and show Dave why that is.
I'm proud of you for choosing to be an organ donor on your fake!!
My mom and my boss just had a discussion on FB about the sexual habits of old people. The magic of the Internet.
I mean I made my therapist laugh so hard she cried....so yes, my life is literally a joke to everyone
Yeah. I fucked her boyfriend, she knows, and she still wants to keep dating him. That's love.
Just boned her on my desk. on top of my term paper. take that professor dipshit
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