3:38a: you guys up to anything right now?
He is fucking rediculously sexy. DO HIM NOW. NOW. NOW. NOW.
So for a second i just thought clitoris was a disease.
Also, just saw a kid in a gorilla costume being questioned by a boardwalk cop. I love ocean city.
I was just handed a bible on my walk of shame....are you there god? its tequila tuesday's hangover
I feel as though sleeping all day due to the effects of prescription painkillers paid for by union insurance made this the most American day ever for me
I hate having to put a bra on before I go home cuz I have to pretend I actually went to class today
There's green glitter on my nipple rings. #mardigras2013
That's the last time I get in a car with six rappers headed to god knows where.
one more hour of this work bullshit and I'm off to get high with your cat.
alcohol and riverdancing are a dangerous mix. have a spraind ankle. i die now
It's five in the morning. wtf?
You give an incredible blow job. I wanted to make sure you know it was appreciated
I've had your balls on my face a bunch of times so the least you could do is buy a girl some dinner.
why did i wake up in the bathroom?
we had to stay with you a while until we convinced you it wasn't safe to wash your face, then you fell asleep with your foot in the toilet.
Yeah it got awkward when the two guys we were playing beer pong against realized that I'd hooked up with both of them. Their teamwork declined after that.
Randomize
