Well. Nothing came of that. And to think I manscaped and dusted with gold bond.
Asian chick on skype stripping for me. Hold on give few min
just heard a swedish guy suck in helium and speak in his accent. top 5 favorite moments. ever.
Playing the biology drinking game in my 8am. Drink everytime he says species or organism. I love st. Patricks day
it makes it look bigger when i shave, i hope its not the same for a girl
I'll be heading downtown with donuts and a lawn chair at 9am to go Halloween Walk o' Shame spotting.
yeah, but the likliness of me finding my husband at a party where the facebook event is titled "NEW YEARS EVE SHIT SHOW" is highly unlikely
During breaking dawn, he leaned over and asked me why she would have to worry about her period since she essentially just married a walking super-absorbant tampon... It was the best way to ruin those movies for me.
I sat down next to him and my bra just unhooked itself
Chicks, chicks everywhere, and not a drop to drink. Dude, when did real life lesbians get HOT?
My very favorite thing in the whole world is when guys try to booty call her as I'm fucking her. Sucks to suck.
He had really great hair, but he told me he's been in a psych ward three times. I mean I know I'm a psych major, but that's too much.
No. Not going out tonight. No. It's Tuesday. Xanax and Full House Tuesday.
After getting kicked out of the bar, you proceeded to McDonald's, ordered 30 nuggets, slammed them all back in 5 minutes and then stole 3 traffic cones...how you only got charged with drunk in public is beyond me.
so like
i may have gotten a little bit of blood in the charging port of my phone
Randomize
