Awkward is getting caught beating off in the company bathroom...
Motorboating on a tuesday night. not too shabby....
I'm worried someone is gonna take a black light to my work computer. But the connection is faster here.
Ask me how many people I've slept with. Because its changed since I last saw you.
I saw you 20 MINUTES AGO. You need to stop this.
I'm not sure which is more depressing, the fact that the hospital is making me put together a living will before surgery, or that all i'll be leaving behind is 25k in student loan debt
My dad got me a charm braclet....his way of trying to support my gayness....
they paper machayed me.
i told you ... never pass out drinking with preschool teachers.
You've fucked so many I should get a word bank when you make me guess these things.
Well I either feel like the fat girl or very accomplished because his bed is now broken in three places
At the end of the night i was really thirsty and tied to a bedpost
I mean I could but due to my age and being a mother and all I feel it's poor judgment to give fellatio in a public establishment.
I don't think tits should taste like fish.
Christ I forgot how flexible you need to be for a decent sext pic. Jesus.
There's lube on my homework. #priorities
Is it just me or did we have a heart to heart talk while you were naked last night?
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