I just woke up under a kitchen table with my sandals taped to my feet and a corona bottle taped to my hand..
Fact: Telling a guy he has erectile dysfunction doesn't solve the problem.
His dick might not be the answer to my problems, but I'm definitely ok with testing it as a possible solution.
It'd be like medium rare by now.
I love how we're talking about your vagina like it's a piece of meat.
I just dont think you can meet a stranger after youve heard them cum through the walls though
but then the words kidney pain and possible testicle shrinkage kept ringing in my head
How many bratwuest were you able to fit in your mouth at one time? It's me, Hans.
Chasing 100 proof soco w water from the tap at 4 pm, it's gonna one of those kinda Thursdays...
I caught him trying to shit in her bed. I asked him why he was doing it and he said "because it's wrong."
Grindr hookup awareness: always make sure that you agree to blow one person and they aren't bringing a Friend/boyfriend. Shits weird when you're sober.
He whispered "Are you feeling it now Mr. Krabs?" when he was inside me. That is NOT my fetish.
Does puke ruin car paint? Good thing it's raining.
Your face; I've seen enough of it for today. Go away now please.
I've turned into a small time drug dealer, now who's the real MVP.
if people come over to pregame will you hide my Oreos
Randomize
