today's thought: if you're naming your fb album "wEdDiNg dAy!!!!!!" you're too young to get married
I just peed in the Schreyer honors college shrubbery. Thanks honors students, you're finally good for something
He's really hot. I think he's gonna be my reason to shave this winter.
Ahhh November 1st. National Untagging Day
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I looked at you and you stared at me dead in the eyes then sprayed febreze at your crotch and winked.
you're not a real person. you're actually just like a box of wine that can talk
I'm trying not to drink. I may fall down if I move. This is bad. I had everclear before the bar. Oh no. Oh no. Breathe. Breathe. Breathe.
dreams really do come true on the roof and drinking again
She dresses like Bruce Banner and fucks like the Hulk. She is all of my lesbian fantasies come true.
See if shell let you call her dr banner in bed
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
we're forecasting high levels of inebriation into the evening with dropping temperatures late at night
Why does my car smell like burnt toast?
I take it you don't remember trying to make grilled cheese with your cigarette lighter...
hey, i didnt think i could be this stupid either but you dont see ME getting all judgemental about it
Standing naked in my kitchen making nachos. I love my youth.
I didn't know it was possible and I don't know if I'll ever be able to do it again on my own but he literally fuck me sideways.
Best single mom victory - getting eaten out in my dodge caravan in the hospital parkade at midnight.Three words: screaming multiple orgasms.
Randomize